when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Randomize
