they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
