She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
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