I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
