My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Randomize
