I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
