Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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