Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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