real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I want her autograph on my taint
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
