He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
