Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
