I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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