shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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