using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
