what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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