The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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