Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
