If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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