gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
