that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
