last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I am mentally ready for anal.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
