Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
