never play flip cup with pint glasses
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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