"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
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