Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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