I cockslap morals
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
