just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
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