But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
