It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
