I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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