We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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