Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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