puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Randomize
