Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Randomize
