I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
