Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
