I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
