I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
