are you so shy because you have an std?
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
