I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
