gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I've blown a few things in my day
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
