Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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