you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
my nose is crying tears of wow.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
