I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Oh god it's open bar.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
