I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Randomize
