is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
