So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
