so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
