Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
