I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
