my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
