It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
