He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize
