I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Brb crying the tears of my youth
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Randomize
