By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
