yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
We left the knife in your bed.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
