do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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