I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
